Who Am I?

I've been working on this post for the last few days now, if not on paper, in my head. God has gripped me... taken me by the heart and lead me in His direction over the last year, but especially the last few months. All of the sudden, I'm hearing Him just a little more clearly over the world's din that has increasingly grown fainter. Like Moses, I'm suddenly finding myself covered with His hand, only to see His back, as His glory and goodness pass over me. (ref. Exodus 33:18-23) I'm in awe over the presence of the Almighty God, Abba Father, in my life. Who am I?

I woke up yesterday, earlier than usual, the house still quiet and peaceful in the early morning hours. It wasn't until a few minutes later, that I realized the track playing in my head. I woke up with this song streaming unconsciously through my mind, like my Spirit had been in worship in the stillness of night, despite my body's slumber. It struck me how personal God is with us, that this was indeed a gift to me, to prepare me for the day ahead. Right then and there, it was God making His presence known, and inviting me to worship. Throughout the day yesterday, I'd smile as I remembered my very personal moment with my God, and my soul welled up to praise Him again.

He's broken through the darkness in my soul, shining His cleansing light, and leaving me more fulfilled through Him than I could ever have imagined. He's repurposed my life for His glory, and restored the joy of my salvation. He's taken my selfish heart, and made one that has bloomed with love anew for my dear husband. He's reformed my vision of Motherhood, to realize the sanctified mission He's entrusted me with. [more on this to come.] He's given this precious gift of children that I've too long taken for granted. He's given me peace and joy again in my calling as a Wife, Mother and Daughter of the King!

This is such a personal post for me. Something I didn't need to share here to have heard by the One whom this is for. But I'm overflowing - my cup runneth over! How could I be silent? How could I stand still instead of falling on my face to worship?!

I am yours.


E said...

Sigh. Wow. I don't have the right words. However, I'm looking forward to the "more on this later" teaser. Thank you for sharing this. You've blessed my day and I know I'll be reading it many times over in the remainder of the day. Thank you!

Much love,

E said...

Oh...and that's one of my favorite CDs.

Bruce Judisch said...

There are no sweeter words to the ears of a parent...ever.

Love you almost as much as Christ,

Mom & Dad

DW Hobbs said...

Oh Janelle...I too am beyond words at your post...I wish I could explain how very happy I am for your and let you know how much your own blessing is carrying over into the lives of others from reading about it.

Oh and the "more on this later" reference...well spill it, girlfriend! ;-)

Much love,

Neal Judisch and Family said...

Always been proud. Never been prouder.

Suzann said...

Are you pregnant?

the mccann clan said...

Not that I know of!

The "more on this later" reference was just supposed to be my segue into another post about the Mothering issue, and about an incredible book I'm reading. Perhaps I should've worded it differently?

The Bottolfini's said...

You know, I'm glad I read the comments. I was going to ask the same thing as suzann!

Beautiful post Janelle.

Anonymous said...

Janelle, that's awesome!! I'm so happy to hear the Lord is touching you in such a deep and personal way. I remember Pastor Steve saying once that when we're in deep communion with God our Spirit sings a song and that it's with us always. Reading your words reminded me of that. Thanks for sharing your heart strings and how the Lord is touching you and moving you!

Kristen and Dave said...

what a blessing to read about your reawakened communion with our Savior...I appreciate you giving us a glimpse.

The Wilhite Family said...

Your words poured out so eloquently on the page. Just beautiful. I think Suzann is a prophet... ;)

The Jackson Family said...

So beautiful! I love that you have rediscovered your passion for motherhood. As I'm going a little bit crazy with a 17-month-old and a 3-week-old, I constantly remind myself that THIS is what I fervently prayed for, for years. Here I am, and everytime I get a lil' overwhelmed, I thank Jehovah again for my precious little ones and the privilege of raising them! I'm so thrilled you're having another, especially at this time of God reminding you of His purpose for your life, and renewing your heart in it. Love you! -A